I don’t often get personal, but today I want to share a personal story with you all. 

A very true story – this literally happened to me recently…

I was invited to dinner with some relatives and since I like food I went along. 

There were only 5 of us, and two of the guests I hadn’t seen for a very long time so was very excited to catch up. 

The host however, had something else she wanted to discuss…

Right at the very moment that I looked down, knife and fork in hand ready to tuck into my plate of food, the host declared the following to the table;

“She is fatter than the last time I saw her” – “She” being me.

Now, had I heard this 10 years ago I probably would have felt like absolute sh*t and cried my heart out when I got home. 

Thankfully I’m so past giving a f**k about what other people think that I actually just laughed out loud and proceeded to eat my dinner – I even had seconds – and dessert!

Was I even a little bit offended?  Honestly, no, not at all. 

I know who I am and what I’m about, that’s more than enough for me.

What was said had absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with the person that said it.

Anyone who feels the need to drag you down is already beneath you, I didn’t need to retaliate and I certainly didn’t need to invest even the slightest bit of energy worrying or getting offended by it.

It takes time to build a level of confidence that leaves you unaffected by situations like this, but if I can do it, anyone can.

Here are my give no f**ks tips...

  1. Be grateful that not everybody likes you – nobody has time to satisfy that many people, prioritise those who prioritise you positively.

  2. Take insults as compliments – ‘how kind of you to invest so much time looking for flaws in my character or physical appearance – you must really admire me to look that closely’

  3. Take the time to celebrate and clap for yourself – you don’t need somebody else’s approval, this is YOUR life, not theirs.

  4. Focus only on good things – acknowledge and accept the things you want to work on, but invest 99% of your energy on the positive.

  5. Remember that confidence is silent – insecurities are loud. Be confident (silent), always.  Let your success speak for itself.  

  6. Realise that when you reach a point where you love yourself so much, nothing outside of you can change what goes on inside of you. Being confident isn’t something to be ashamed of, don’t ever ‘tone’ yourself down to ‘fit in’ or to spare somebody else’s feelings.  You’re only responsible for you – anybody who has a problem with your confidence has a problem with themselves, not you.

  7. Stay away from anyone who is anything but a positive and uplifting influence in your life – everybody else is dead weight, let it go.

  8. Invest in yourself as a priority – seriously, put yourself first, yes, even if you do have dependents – you can’t be a positive influence on anyone if you’re not a positive influence on yourself.

If you take just one thing away from this post, let it be the confidence to know that you can 100% control how you react in situations by controlling your own thoughts and keeping them positive.

Thoughts become feelings and feelings influence behaviours.